Beautiful Somehow

By: Joy Williams

Well I’ve never been a fashion queen
I wear dresses, I wear jeans
I’ve even been known to wear my heart on my sleeve
I’m just your average kid next door
A plain, simple mystery
I’m a self-proclaimed Daddy’s girl
With my share of idiosyncrasies
But You love me for me

CHORUS
And I’m just fine
I see a smile from Heaven
My Father is proud
I know that I am simply, fearfully and wonderfully
Made in You
You make it beautiful somehow

I’ve got old fashioned sensibilities
I believe chivalry still exists
And I can be a princess
Even when there ain’t no prince
So what if I’m right brained
I’ve got half a mind to disagree
I would rather write the book
Than go and read the movie
So even when I may not rhyme
You always give me reason…

CHORUS

Got my elbows on the table
My mind up in the clouds
I know I’m getting better
I can almost hear You laugh out loud
The more I trust in You
The more I find What You create is no mistake
It’s purpose by design

CHORUS

Goals for the summer...

* things added to the list after the original post are in italics *

Summer in the city??? This is the first summer in 6 summers that I have not been up north at Muskoka Woods working for the summer. I have been a guest or a staff member there for the last 16 summers, so the idea of spending a summer in the city is a very foreign concept to me. I am already feeling like I might go insane. So to prevent insanity I have decided to set some goals for things I would like to do this summer. They are as follows:

1- Learn Sign Language (and not just the alphabet, I mean really learn it and become capable of communicating through it)
2- Read at least 10 books
3- Go on at least one road trip
4- Learn to play 3 songs on my guitar (I am still learning the cords as of now)
5- Paint ... I am not sure what yet, I guess I'll wait to be inspired
6- Take my new puppy, Daisy, to obedience class
7- Finish drawing my "captivating" book
8- Mail my best friend Amanda, who is up north at camp for the summer, a letter/card every week
9- As well, every week randomly send someone else up north a letter/card
10- Visit Muskoka Woods at least 3 times
11- Reconnect and hang out with my friends who live in the city
12- Every day that I am home, go for a run or do lengths in my pool
13- Cross stitch 2 pictures
14- Start volunteering in some way with my church's neighborhood connections program
15- Attend church every week and spend time daily doing devotions
16- Do my school placement, and do it well
17- Stay in touch with friends who live far away
18- Visit other people who have stayed home from Muskoka Woods this summer
19- Find a quiet place, within 1/2 hour of my house that I can go to get away and hopefully see the stars at night (that the city lights inconveniently drown out)
20- Hang out with Erica and Grant (my Godson) a lot
21- Journal daily
22- Spend a day at a spa
23- Go to the zoo
24- Go to a butterfly conservation area
25- Spend a day antique shopping/browsing
26- Go on a walk above the trees (Scenic Cave Nature Adventure (?))
27- Get a part-time job (?)
28- Have Jay visit me
29- Go horseback riding
30- Swim with the polar bears (Polar Bear Habitat)

As the summer goes on I may find new things to add to this list, but for now I think the things I have listed will definitely keep me occupied. If you have any suggestions on things I should do feel free to let me know!

For those of you who are spending the summer up north, have an amazing time and appreciate everything up there even when you are tired and the "well-off" children are driving you crazy.

Blessed...

There is a wonderful blessing that comes when you have the opportunity to reconnect with old friends. For the past week I have been doubly blessed. My friends from YWAM, Kathryn and Vinjelu, arrived here in Ontario on June 14th and stayed with my family and I for the week. I was nervous about them coming. It had been two years since I had seen them both, and a lot of things had changed in those two years. For starters they started dating, got engaged and married! I had only known them when they were friends so I didn't know what to expect. What I got however exceed anything I could have expected. I loved every minute of time spent with Kathryn and Vinj. Our friendships picked up right off where we left them when I left Alberta 2 years ago. I loved watching the way they love each other, and it was an honour to be reminded of how much they loved and still love me. Through many conversations and time spent together these two blessed my life so much. They never fail to compliment me or tell me I'm beautiful, or speak such truth into my life. At first it was weird to hear because friends that do those kinds of things are so rare these days. It makes me want to be that kind of friend to people, to be able to help someone feel better about their selves. Below are some pictures of my time spent with Vinj and Kathryn. How I love them both. I am excited already to go out west sometime in the fall/winter to spend more time with them. Thank you to Kathryn and Vinj for everything you bring to my life, I hope you know what a joy it was to have you both here with me. I miss you both already.

Weddings...

Ahhh, my friends are starting to get married! I all of a sudden feel old. My friend Simon got married on May 27th in Petawawa, on the army base there. It was a 5 hour drive to get there and then home again. The sunset on the way home was so beautiful. It was worth the drive. The weather that day was amazing with the sun shining everywhere. Once I got there I was excited for himself and Tera (his now wife). They seemed so happy which is always fun to watch at weddings and you can always count on the best man to give a speech that ultimately makes the bride’s father worried, but oh man was it funny. I loved getting to see a lot of the guys that I have grown up with, but have not seen in a long time. I laughed so much with them. I thought I would post some of the pictures I took. Enjoy!

What I have learned these past seven months...

I did it! I made it through my last two weeks of school. (And they were only a little bit as bad as I thought they would be) Last Friday I officially wrote my last exam. I am pretty confident that it went really good so now I am just waiting for my marks back. I have taken some time since Friday to think about my past seven months in class and have comprised a list of the top 10 things I have learned, some through observation, some from personal experience...

10- Teachers are hired because they really do know what they are talking about and we should listen to them
9- The girl that everyone else thinks is mean at first glance can end up being one of your favourite people
8- In every classroom you need a few allies, people you can really talk to without holding back
7- Every person has their off days where they are emotional and crazy and that is allowed
6- You truthfully don’t have to like everyone, but you have no excuse to be cruel to them
5- The no eating in the classroom rule only counts if the teacher actually catches you disobeying it
4- Participation marks really can make or break your grade and actually doing homework reading assignments and studying for tests can be very beneficial to your grades as well
3- You go into a classroom expecting to learn only about the topic at hand, and in turn you wind up learning more about yourself, others and life then you ever thought you would
2- Every person deserves the opportunity for you to take your time to get to know them and to let them get to know you, no matter what anyone else thinks about them
1- Talking bad about someone and/or behind their back gets you absolutely no where, but learning to speak out of kindness and love, gets you everywhere

So to Anelita, Azeb, Bev, Dana, Donna, George, Holly, Jackie, Jenelle, Julie, Katie, Luc, Maria, Matt, Robert, Sonali, Soraya, and Steve, thank you for all the memories of the past seven months. It was a gong show, but I still loved it and appreciate every one of you for your place in my journey through life.

In memory of my Cody...

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us." ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

I'm not sure about that quote above, but man I hope it's true. I really hope there are dogs (and animals in general) in Heaven. My beautiful golden retriever, Cody, had to be put to sleep today. Needless to say I am brokenhearted. I have barely stopped crying all day. He had been getting sicker the last week or a bit, so my mom and I took him in this morning to get looked at. He had stopped eating and didn't walk around much lately. They kept him at the vets to do x-rays and blood work. They x-rays came back and my poor dog's body was filled with cancerous tumors. It was awful. I can't believe how much was in his body and that he never even complained. Unfortunately there was nothing that could be done anymore and so the most humane thing to do was to put him down. I sat with him while he was given his injection and passed away peacefully. I hate that, how people and in this case animals can go from living and existing and being, right in front of you and then just be gone. It hurts so much just thinking about him being gone. I loved Cody from the moment I met him. He had a family before us but his human parents got a divorce and he was sent to a dog foster home before he got to come live with us. I can still remember driving to his temporary home with our other dog Rolly, so they could meet and make sure they would get along. Cody was just a huge suck. He always wanted to be close to someone wither you were petting him or he was just lying down making sure to keep track of your every move. He had the most beautiful wagging tail, which was so strong it had been known to knock people over, but he was just always so excited to greet the people who entered our home. He was so loving and playful, especially with our cats. He was also just so gentle. I'm going to miss Cody … probably forever. I know the pain in my heart will get better, but I will never be able to forget the love that he gave me and allowed me to give him. I love you Cody and I really hope you are getting to play in Heaven now, cancer free. I'll bring you a piece of cheese when I get there bud. Loving you always sweetheart…

For the faith of my hairdresser...

Last fall I discovered that my hairdresser was a Christian. I was just there for a simple hair cut that day so I only spent an hour with her then. Even then in that hour she blew me away with her love for God and desire to learn more. She shared with me that she was asked to write a book on Revelations, which by no means is an easy task. So that day we talked about some of the things she had learned through her research. I left the hairdressers' that day, just amazed at this lady and her life. Yesterday I had the pleasure of hanging out with her again. This time it was for a good 3 1/2 hours. It took that long because she got my hair back to a blonde colour (it's been red for the past 3 months) and chopped quite a bit off. I loved those 3 hours yesterday. Just hanging out and chatting with her. I left feeling renewed and more in love with God then when I had walked in. I love when people can help you in that way, simply by being themselves. This woman has such an admirable faith and way at looking at the world through everything she stays so faithful and encouraging. I only hope that as I get older, I can learn to have the faith of my hairdresser.

Fast forwarding through life???

I sometimes find myself just wishing I could fast forward my life. Today is especially one of those days. In exactly two weeks my life is going to be drastically different, and I honestly wouldn't mind getting to the end of those two weeks immediately. For those of you who don't know I have been in school since December, 12th. I am going to college in downtown Toronto. Everyday for the past 6 months I have ventured onto the TTC subway; had many sketchy adventures and sat through 5 hours of class. In exactly two weeks I will be done!!!!!! Not soon enough at all. In two weeks I will have handed in my last assignment, written my last two exams, and be on my way to starting my placement. I will have also made the huge trek to the wedding I am going to next weekend. Class has been especially crazy and dramatic lately, so I am definitely looking forward to a major change of pace :) But since I can't fast forward through the next two weeks, maybe I can learn and try really hard to enjoy them... I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

Do it anyways...

Goodbyes...

"Goodbye." What a word, what a concept... I have had my fair share of goodbyes in my life time. Goodbyes come when people leave. Sometimes it's for a day, a month, a year, multiple years and sometimes it's for a lifetime. I don't know which length of goodbye I find the hardest.

The day goodbyes are normally fine because you know you will see the person again and rather soon. A month away from someone is normally ok as well. You spend the first part of the time missing that person, but then the second half of the time is spent excited that the person is coming back. A year is so hard because so many things happen in one year. So many things that you wish you could share with that person. There is still the reassurance however that when you say goodbye you will see them again. The same goes with multiple years. Those years may be hard but you can still hold onto the fact that you will see them again. Lifetime goodbyes are normally had when a person dies or moves halfway across the world or something. Those ones I think are the saddest; they are the ones that keep you crying for days. I have had way to much experience with the lifetime goodbyes, and I know there will always be more.

I think one of the things that makes goodbyes the hardest is unfinished business. Maybe you never got to or forgot to tell the person something while they were around. Maybe you doubt if that person really knew how much you loved them and loved having them in your life. Maybe a part of you really doubts if you will see that person ever again. With me I think that as long as that person that I am saying goodbye to can tell me that they have no doubts about the fact that I love them and while they were in my life that I was good to them, then I'm ok with the finality of the word goodbye. It doesn't mean it won't hurt and that I won't cry, it just means that eventually I'll be ok with it.

Here is a little photo journey (with the descriptions of the pictures at the end of the last picture) of some of the people I have had to say goodbye to over the past year: (There are quite a few other photos that belong here, of the people I have said goodbye to and miss dearly but I still have to upload them onto the computer)

Picture 1: Zjholt and I -> He is an autistic boy I met while in Romania last year. He had the most profound impact on my heart while I was there and he couldn't even speak. I have been thinking about him a lot lately as another team gets ready to go back to Romania in a week.

Picture 2: Lory -> She is my favourite reason for attending Tyndale University last year if I had to pick one. Becoming friends with her was one of the greatest blessings of my year. I only see her every couple months now but I love our random adventures together so much.

Picture 3: Emily -> She by far is one of the biggest reasons leaving Muskoka Woods is so hard everytime I am there. I hate not getting to see Emily everyday. She is so smart, and loving, and genuine and beautiful and the list could go on and on. I hate the goodbye with Emily days, but the hello days always make up for them.

Picture 4: Jay -> He is my latest goodbye experience. After years of living in Ontario, he is moving home to Manitoba. He started his drive on Friday. The last time he made that drive I was with him, experiencing my first and only trip to Manitoba. Over the last 4 years I have had many adventures with this boy. Road trips, sports trips, walks to the lagoons, "meetings" with "pens". The most important part of our adventures has always been the conversations and the time spent together. He started as a friend and has ended up feeling like family. A brother who I love no matter what, but sometimes just ticks me right off. This goodbye is still fresh, and so is the sadness that's comes with him being gone.

Picture 5: Andreas -> How I love this boy. He became my unofficial husband at camp (Muskoka Woods) about 4 summers ago, because we basically fight and love each other still like we are married. This past year he has been in school in Nova Scotia so I have seen him on his visits home, but I have had to become accustomed to saying goodbye to him as well. I always miss him when he leaves.

Picture 6: Chris -> I've known Chris for close to 3 years now. We met in Calgary and went to Thailand on the same missions trip through YWAM. That was 6 months of seeing each other almost everyday. He lives in Regina, SK and I live in Ontario so there was going to have to be a goodbye day eventually. After YWAM was over I went to visit him and he came in December to visit me here, so that is 3 big goodbyes. 3 goodbyes of I will probably see you again but there is always the chance that I won't. I hate goodbyes with Chris. I cried a lot after he left Toronto. (He doesn't know that but will now if he reads this) Chris is a rare kind of friend to me. He is encouraging, and kind, and calls me on things others wouldn't. He brings out the best in me and encourages me to be better. He lets me talk, or maybe it's just that I actually feel comfortable talking to him and sharing my heart, which is a rare occurrence in my life. Whatever the case I love the hello days with this boy, and the goodbye days not so much. At least there is long distance phone calls and msn.

The beauty of mountains...

I have been missing the mountains a lot today

^ I also miss these girls a lot as well. (Thanks for the pictures Steph!)

Feeling uneasy...

I have found it so hard to write lately ... perhaps like my wise Emily Duffield once stated, I just needed to wait until inspiration came. I'm not sure if inspiration has come or not or maybe I just feel like typing but whatever it is I am writing a new blog.

Lately I have been feeling uneasy. I have also been feeling frustrated, tired, sick, bored, lonely, happy, excited, and unsettled. So yeah I think uneasy is the best feeling to describe me right now.

I used to be such a homebody, content to stay here in Ontario. In grade 11 I took my first big trip by myself, I went to England to see my favourite British friend Liz. Since then I have traveled to 5 provinces and 2 different continents by myself, and now I can't stay still. God has put travel and missions on my heart so much that it is so incredibly hard when I am not doing it. I know that training, preparing and growing is such a huge part of it, but I sometimes forget to do all that learning and strengthening and growing and everything at home. I guess sometimes that uneasy feeling can have its benefits because I know I am more likely to take that step out in faith and follow through on whatever journey I feel God is leading me on.

I am in the process of finding an internship for my school right now. The feeling of uneasiness comes there as well. I want to be challenged and learn and grow so much from this internship, but I need to find one first. There are a couple options that I am looking into right now, some more realistic then others. The thing is though, I love adventures! So a big part of my heart just wants to be irresponsible and adventurous and pursue the placement that seems a little bit crazy. I'll keep you posted on how the placement searching goes.

But, now that it is almost 3am I better stop writing. So here’s to praying that I know where God wants me now and in the future and that I can feel completely confident in it all. Good night all!

Seeing God in everything...

So I have been meaning to write this post for almost a month now but it never quite got typed...

A while back on a Sunday night, Amanda and I were talking to the very wise Chris Tompkins after Bible Study. I don't actually even remember now what that evening's topic had been about but I have been struck ever since about the stuff Chris talked about after. He started by commenting on the way we refer to things as "Christian" or "Non-Christian". Christian music, Christian artists, Christian movies etc. To that I had to agree because I know that for sure I have labeled things as Christian or Non-Christian before. Next came the comment stating, "But when you think about it, isn't everything Christian." Like for example a singer who is super talented might not have very glorifying messages in their lyrics, but they are still super talented, and can't that talent be given credit to the way God created that person and all the talents that he gave them.

It's been interesting seeing God lately in the things I never would have thought to see him in before. In those tall buildings downtown that I often say I hate, I can see the talent that God gave the architects and the builders for sure, and maybe I don't hate them so much after all.

Just something to think about ... and thank you Chris for getting me started on thinking about it.

Priority...???

The Webster dictionary defines priority as "status established in order of importance or urgency." Priority is a word and a concept I have been thinking a lot about lately. What makes someone or something or someplace a priority in my life? And once that one, or thing, or place has established a priority in my life what does that mean to my actions? Do I go out of my way to see or talk to that person, or go to that place, or do that thing that apparently means so much to me? And with people, do they even know that I consider them a priority? Do my actions go along with the statement of "You are a priority to me"? Can people feel it? I know what I want my top priority to be ... God. But do I act like it?

Also along the lines of priority... how can I really tell if I am a priority to someone else? Should I get my answer from their words or their actions or both? And what should I do if the two don't match up; if statements made, are proven false by someone’s actions, what do you do then?

I have been thinking about some of my friends that as the days go by I talk to less and less, people who once were so high on my priority list and I wonder about how everything has changed? Do the people who are a priority really know it, without a doubt? If they don't know it, then what should I be doing differently?

... Kind of just my rambling thought process in this concept of priority...

How do you personally let someone know they are a priority to you??? Feel free to comment :)

I'm loving my friends...

It was so good getting to see you girls this past weekend!

 

Falling In Love Everyday

Falling In Love Everyday
by John Fischer

My friend who ministers to homeless kids in downtown Denver makes another great contribution to our thought for today. He tells a story about a lesson he learned from a fifteen-year-old blessing named Katy. Katy is not one of the homeless kids he works with, however. She is from a strong loving home, which, I'm sure, is partly responsible for the love she has to give back. As Robbie tells it:

"Katy contains in her the most powerful gift of love I have ever seen. She has grown up loving people and treasuring them in her heart. When Katy was very young, her little body suffered a stroke that has caused many life struggles for her and her family. Now at fifteen she still has many challenges, but she also has many gifts. I learned this week from her how to fall in love again each time you see someone. I tell people I love them but I often forget what it's like to fall in love with them. Katy doesn't forget. She falls in love with you everyday. She allows you to be the star of her show; she puts your name in lights. She remembers everyday as the day she fell in love."

Robbie goes on to write about how he took Katy's perspective back to the street kids he works with. He now makes a conscious effort to fall in love with each one of them every day -- to see them as Katy would see them. When you realize that everyone is made in the image of God, you can't help but fall in love.

In occurs to me that in seeing people this way, Katy is merely emulating what God does. I'm sure God gives us gifts like Katy to teach us things like this about Himself. God takes delight in each one of us. This is why He made us, and this is why our primary purpose is to be in relationship with Him. He made us in order to love us, and each day is like falling in love all over again.

Take delight in God today and know He delights in you. Start by falling in love with God. Then fall in love with the people you meet today. Anybody. Everybody. Make them the stars of your show. Put their names in lights. If Katy can do it, we can. And then remember this day as the day you fell in love.

"Let love be your highest goal." (1 Corinthians 14:1)

John Fischer is the Senior Writer for Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotionals.
He resides in Southern California with his wife and son.
John is also a published author and songwriter.

My lovely weekend...

Lately, my life has been about school and not much else. I am loving school a lot but I haven't gotten to see any of my friends in a really long time and I've been feeling lonely. This past weekend however I got to see many people I love spending time with and I'm not so lonely anymore.

Friday night was a sleep over with my favourite girl Amanda, who loves me enough to deal with my insomnia and lets me keep her awake talking to all hours of the night. She is such an amazing friend and I can not even imagine my life without her in it! Thanks for being you darling!

After a late night with Amanda came lunch the next day with my favourite boy, Paul. Him and I have only really gotten to know each other this past year, but he brings such a joy to my life. I have now forgotten what it was like to not take random adventures to St.Catherines to experience his wonderful presence. Paul, I'll always be the girl who waits for you to finish your meal when everyone else is done and gone. You are what I define the word favourite by.

A Saturday would not be complete without sitting in a cold skating arena, watching my girl Vicky skate. She did so wonderful and it was just so good to get to see her. Vic, it seems like just yesterday we were co-counselors and passing out stickers for a completed list of checks by our little ones. You always bring a smile to my face Cheer!

Saturday night brought a sleep over with Lauren and 7 episodes of One Tree Hill in a row. HAHAHA can you say addicted! Thank you sweet girl. I love spending time with you, especially when the hot boys from OTH are involved!

Sunday was a wonderful day as well. I went to the ACC with my mom, dad, Beth, Jim, and the Girouard "hockey" family, Terry, Fiona, Erica and Grant. We went to watch the Leafs skills competition. It is amazing how much skill they actually do have when a game is not at risk.

Sunday night was Bible Study at the Evans' place. I have only been going for a couple weeks now, but it is a time and place I have come to cherish and love. It was especially good because this Sunday we had quite a few special people show up that don't normally come.

I just wanted to send a big thank you out to all those who made this past weekend a wonderful one. I love you all!

My Valentine

Got to love sappy love songs the day after Valentines Day! (I actually do really like this song though!)


My Valentine
By: Martina McBride

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside I’d still feel for you

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You’re all I need, my love, my valentine

All of my life I have been waiting for all you give to me
You have opened my eyes and shown me how to love unselfishly
I’ve dreamed of this, a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn’t love you more
I will give you my heart until the end of time
You’re all I need, my love, my valentine

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuse’ all I need, is you my valentine
You’re all I need, my love, my valentine

Vision???

Two weeks ago I started going to a new Bible Study. Most of the people in the Bible Study are people who have worked at Muskoka Woods (The camp I have spent many summers at, working or being a guest). The group was near the end of a DVD series when I started going, and we finished it this past Sunday. The last two episodes (and only two I saw) were talking about vision. The speaker uses the book of Nehemiah as an example. Particularly he looks at Nehemiah 6:3 which read in the NASB says "...I am doing a great work and I cannot come down..." He uses this verse in this reference: When you have a vision plan laid out for your life then it makes it easy to make decisions. When you are set on something and opportunities come along, you can say "Does this lead to my vision?" and if the answer is no then your answer to that opportunity should be no as well. And without hesitation you can say "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down." As amazing as some opportunities might be, when you are where you are supposed to be, on course to the vision, then your decision making process changes.

We as a Bible Study group were challenged to really think and pray about visions for areas of our life, write them out and we will share next week if we are comfortable. I have thought about this a lot since leaving Bible Study on Sunday, but I have yet to write things down; I am hesitant, worried almost.

My friend from Bible Study and I were talking about this challenge a little bit today and she put it this way, "It's one thing to think about it, but when you think about it, it also means that you have to change things in your life, things that you have become accustomed to in your life, and that’s what I'm scared to confront... because I feel like, if I don’t think about it then it’s not like I am deliberately doing anything wrong... do u know what I mean?" Man do I ever know what she means. So here I am scared to face where life is headed and ready to start writing down visions for my life. Let them be written by your influence Lord and not just mine alone...

Waiting For The World To Fall ~ Jars of Clay

Jars of Clay are such a wonderful group. They were gifted greatly in the area of music and they are such a blessing to listen to. Here are the lyrics for the second verse of their song called "Waiting For The World To Fall." It can be found on The Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack. Such beautiful music... Such an impacting song... Check it out!

I close my eyes and try to see the world unbroken underneath

The farther off and already it just might make the life I lead

A little more than make-believe when all my skies are painted blue

And all the clouds don't ever change the shape of who I am to You