Missing Him...

This morning as I was driving, I thought of a friend of mine that I miss a lot. I miss them so much, so often, that I often say that my heart literally aches because of it. So I started wondering what is this missing thing and where did I learn to identify this feeling? Did someone teach me that when I think about someone and tears come to my eyes and my heart hurts, that is what missing someone is? How did I even learn that I could miss someone at all? Some days I wish I didn't know this feeling.

As I kept thinking I was reminded of a blog I read back in the summer. It was about this little girl cuddling with her mom talking about how one day they would get to be in Heaven with Jesus. The little girl said to her mom "I miss Jesus." It made me cry when I first read it, because it was so cute and innocent and I thought "Me too!" It brings tears to my eyes now, because I long for that in a lot of ways now. To be so connected to Jesus, to spend so much time with Him, getting to know Him and His heart. To have such a childlike faith that I long to be with Him everyday of my life. I want to miss Jesus more then I already do...

I Could Sing of Your Love Forever ...

Over the mountains and the sea
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the healer set me free

I'm happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing
Of when your love came down

(Chorus)
I could sing of your love forever
I could sing of your love forever
I could sing of your love forever
I could sing of your love forever

Over the mountains and the sea
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the healer set me free
I'm happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing
Of when your love came down

(Chorus)
(Chorus)

Oh, I feel like dancing
This foolishness, I know
But when the world has seen the light
They will dance with joy
Like we're dancing now

(Chorus)
(Chorus)

When I first became a Christian this song was one of the first "worship" songs that I learned. I loved it right away. I loved the words, the tune, and the things it made me feel. I loved being able to sing about this kind of love I was experiencing for the first time in my life ... this kind of love that you can only receive from God. I loved the lines "I could sing of your love forever" because I couldn't imagine not singing of His love forever, and I still can't. This song just holds so many memories for me as well.

It reminds me of Muskoka Woods and the Saturday Chapels and the Praise and Prayer Services, and just sitting down by the lake in the canoeing area pouring out my heart to the Lord.

It reminds me of being in Thailand with my DTS outreach and being in this temple that you could sense there was so much spiritual darkness there, and singing this song without even realizing I was as I wandered throughout the temple. It was also during my DTS when I truly did start to let "the healer set me free" and what an amazing journey that has been.

It reminds of Romania, where I sat by a river with my little autistic friend Zjolt in my lap. He couldn't speak a word and was antsy most of the day, but sitting there in my lap I began to sing this song for him and he instantly settled down and we just cuddled as I sang to him, over and over again coming back to this song.

It reminds me of this summer getting to hang out with baby David at teen mom camp, and how at nap times and at bed times as I rocked him to sleep this was the song I kept singing.

It also reminds me of this past week as I walked up and down the hospital halls with my friend from high schools' baby, Memphis, in my arms, singing her to sleep with this song once again. Baby Memphis’ twin brother, Hudson, died last week at 6 months of age, and she has also been sick. She was able to come home on Wednesday though, which is very good news. Wednesday was also her brother's funeral, which is why I was with her at the hospital, while her family was at the funeral. That day was very bittersweet.

It is my prayer for all of these kids that just as they were settled to sleep or to calmness with the words of a song about how amazing it is to love God, that they will learn to do so all the days of their lives. It is also my prayer that I will never forget how amazing it is to love God and that I will truly always sing of His love forever.